I’ve been thinking a lot about anxiety lately.
A month ago, I was laying on my bed thinking I was going to pass out. My chest was tight, it felt like I could not breathe, and my head was buzzing. It literally felt like I was spinning out of control. You see, I pride myself on being a taskmaster. I have even been called a workhorse. If there is a task to be done, I will find a way to accomplish it. It’s my little badge that I shouldered with a great deal of pride – even if it was painful.
On the day of my anxiety attack, I had made a list that morning of about 15 items. There was a bunch of work projects, a bunch of home projects, and a bunch of personal projects that I was trying to cram in a span of 8 hours. Well, despite our best efforts, you cannot control time. On the list, everything had a time and number of minutes allocated but when these things played out in real life, events either went long or short (but usually long!). So by the end of the day, I looked and I had only accomplished a few and not mastered the whole list and became anxious.
There I lay on the bed, trying to remember the meditation and the breathing I had recently learned. I sat trying to clear my mind of what I hadn’t accomplished and after a while my mind did clear. It cleared because once I reflected on my list, I recognized that many of those items could wait.
A smart person once told me that we often have anxiety because we are trying to look into the future when we should be living in the now. We can’t control tomorrow. We can take steps to try to shape certain aspects of it but life happens and no one can predict what will happen tomorrow, next week, or even next year.
Try to #bethelightin2017 and focus on your now. Accomplish what you can but if you have to wait a day on the laundry or push out the report a few hours so it can be your best representation of your work, do that. Don’t let anxiety about an unwritten future, shape your present day. You have greatness to do!
My current meditation can be found here.
*Disclaimer, I do not know the people who do this YouTube meditation, this is something that I found and I like 🙂